--Author's Note--
Okay, the inspiration for this piece was taken from the movie Toy Story 3... yes I was watching it and it was really good. I liked the idea this movie brought to me about growing up, breaking free, and going off on your own. It made me think of my brother and how only two years ago he was off to college and living on his own. This poem is from his point of view and shows that no matter what, you will always have memories to guide you through the times when it feels like your all on your own. I'm pretty sure this is defiantly not what he was feeling when he left but that's okay, it's nice to think that he could have.
Leaving always proves to be
the hardest part. At first when I
left I thought I would be happy to be
gone, but now alone in this big terrain I
realize just how much I miss them.
Back at home, I imagine
the rest of my family sitting
content around the kitchen table in
silence. All are careful to avoid eye
contact since they know that mom
is on the verge of tears. Thinking
back, I remember
that last day. When she
laid a hand upon my shoulder and
said, "Fear not for we will always be
here to support and love you.", "We will
always be here." But I can't help but to
wonder, Where will life take me, where will
it leave me?
Alyssa,
ReplyDeleteI think this is a really cool piece! I like how you wrote a nice little narrative and cut it up into a free form poem. I really think that the layout helps the message you are trying to convey, and my only critic would be to maybe revise some of the lines, and the points at where you cut the sentences off. Other than that, nice job!
Very nice free form poem! I'll admit that that thought ran through my mind a bit while and after I was watching the movie. It makes you think, because we often want to get away from home, but once we leave, we realize that the world can be harsh.
ReplyDeleteWow that was a really.....well I can't think of the word for it but it was really good. The point of it is really clear and meaningful and you still let the reader come to their own conclusions at the end. I agree with Sophia in saying that the only things that could be different are the time you cut sentences a little short and some of the lines of the poem you could revise to make them even clearer. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThis is a lovely piece. I would recommend sharing it with your brother; at least recommend he visit your blog and read it. He is lucky to have you for a sister.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this poem. This has been a topic that I have thought about kind of a lot lately just wondering how it will be to live on my own. You had a really strong message, but like others have said maybe you could revise where the breaking in some of the lines. Great job!
ReplyDelete