--Authors Note--
Painted by Gerhard Ritchter, this painting titled, Brath [Atem] is part of a collection of abstract paintings created between 1988 and 1991. 'Atem', being the German noun for 'breath' though abstract, I believe points to the nature within the painting. Rather than writing this piece as to what it is really supposed to be, (abstract art) I wrote it to what I saw in the painting. The piece took form as a diary entry and kind of a poem at the same time. I'm not sure if I should have continued in a poem form, but I thought I would try something new. Enjoy!
October 17, 1989
Dear Dairy,
What light shines bright
Through this window stained and tight
Stained of all the things that I may and may I might
For my life, like all others is worth the fight.
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It has been ten days. Ten days since I have seen a human other than myself, if that's what I really am. Ten days since I have seen my family, ten days in which I haven't been able to move, in which I haven't been able to eat or drink. Not even a lone drop of water will seep through the wood weakened by mold framing the bottom of this tremulous window. Not even, a single curious daddy long leg will take the effort to meander near me because of the foul stench; the stench that fills my nose, the stench I will never forget for it is a reminder of the terrible things I've done. And too, these things stain the window before me, stain them with the blood of the living I've hurt, the sweat of the labor I've forced onto others, the tears of myself and those who have ever been foolish enough to trust me. But then there is the road, the road that will always assure me that there is a chance of moving forward, but not without a fight; a fight to get beyond this window, a fight against the ghosts of my past.
I really liked the beginning poem it sounded really cool. The diary entry was really good, I would never have thought of that. It almost sounds like the introduction to a story.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Erin. I also like how you took an abstract piece of art and wrote about what you saw,even though you risked writing about something others can't see. I hope you continue with more diary entries like this, just like Erin mentioned the story, because that would be really neat. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Abby and Erin. I thought it was a really unique way to respond to a painting, because most people did a poem. You wrote it very nicely, and like Erin said, it sounded like the beginning of a story. You should expand on it into one, that would be very interesting. Good job Alyssa!
ReplyDeleteI like how you wrote a diary entry instead of a poem, like Natalie said. I liked the small poem at the beginning. Good job!
ReplyDeleteYou did a really good job of finding something in the painting to write about! Your poem that started the piece was beautiful and I liked how it transitioned into the diary entry. Good job and you should definitely expand this piece!
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone else. This piece was awesome and it would be so cool if you could expand on this because i think it would turn out to be really strong.
ReplyDeleteYou sound very sophisticated in this piece and it was really cool that you found something like that in that painting. The piece was very good and I liked the emotions portrayed through it. Very good!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this poem! I loved how you did a diary, and in the end made it to be the stains from your past on the painting. Also, I really liked the small poem in the beginning, and how it rhymed! Nice job!
ReplyDeleteI really like the form you took with this piece, and I loved how you talked about the stains from the persons past, I thought that was very interesting. I myself saw it as someone sitting in prison looking at what they did and realizing how wrong it was, I don't know if that was what you where getting, but that was the feel that I got. Nice job.
ReplyDeleteI liked the idea of using the diary, and the poem at he start. I thought it was an interestin piece. Good job
ReplyDeleteI agree with Brad. The diary part turning into a poem kind of thing was really cool. I also like how you took a piece of art in which means really can mean anything and took it into your own words and imagination. I also liked the imagery that you used in this piece and the mode that you chose. Nice Job.
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