This poem was written on a cold dreary day when I was bored. I really wanted to experiment with different forms of writing poems with both the form they take, and the rhyming of words and patterns in it. Also I tried to use some of my vocabulary words.
Some Say
We don't know where we're going.
Some Say
We lived without knowing.
I know
That it's our time for showing,
What we have done.
Find out
What life's about.
We know
That there is no doubt
Of what we've done here.
Taking off and going out
It's the benefit of doubt.
We know
We can't be torn
A w a y
Some say.
Some say that we belong together
I know it wouldn't work forever.
We just need a simple motive
To be
A w a y
Some say.
Now before they tell me what's wrong.
I can figure on my own
If its right what I'm saying
To you.
If you don't agree
Then get away from me
Because they can't pull us
A w a y
Some say.
Some say that it is hard to gather
What we knew shouldn't matter.
I know it’s the benefit of doubt
Creeping in somehow.
But for now
It will last forever
Because we can't be pulled
A w a y
It's too late.
For some odd reason I could really see this being a song. I don't know why. The poem itself is really good, and the rhyming really added to the piece. I felt that towards the end thought you stopped rhyming but it's not a big deal.
ReplyDeleteI agree, it really does sound like a song! Throughout the poem I think it gets a rhythm and it sounds really cool, especially with how you used rhyming in it. It was a fun poem to read and I like the repetition you used. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem too and yes, you could sing it. Alyssa Meka, "The benefit of doubt" #1 three weeks in a row on iTunes. I can just see it now. Anyway, I love how you spaced away to slow down the readers mind and really emphasize it. even if you tried to do this or not, it really worked. also, great usage of your vocabulary. Don't give up, if your dream is to be a song writer, you can conquer your dreams!
ReplyDeleteThat's crazy! As I was reading this, I was actually turning it into a song! The rhyming in this piece was great, and I also loved the pattern you made. Great poem!
ReplyDelete